I Don’t Want to Go. Final.

The plan tonight for feeding my soul was that I was going to try an aerial silks class…you know…where you are just hanging off long thick strips of ribbon from the ceiling? But what happened is that I came home too early and then had way too much time left until I had to leave for the class. And that is always a death sentence. I’m home and didn’t want to go back outside in the cold. I know I know…I am not hanging from ribbons outside. But during all this conversing in my head about whether I should go or not…and the feeling of failure that I was not ‘feeding my soul’ like I said I would…I had a realization…

Fuck it.

I needed to stop with the SHOULDs. I didn’t want to go and that’s that. All day I had been thinking about writing so, instead, I came home…made a batch of turkey breakfast patties to prepare in advance for the next week, took a long shower, put on my cozy pjs, got my glass of wine….and here I am in front of my computer…writing.

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This is my bliss.

I want to start recognizing all the little things that I do to feed my soul. And this is it. I am content. I feel nourished. Right now.

A major motivator for me in writing this blog is that I need and want to change my thinking habits. I don’t recognize my own strengths and beauty and I am my own worst critic. I want to be content with my own decisions and not fret about what others have to say. I have lived a very privileged life that’s been rich with experiences and those on the outside see someone who has had a lot of amazing experiences in life and has so much to offer. I want to see this and ACCEPT this too. I want to see and believe what others see in me.

Even though I do love myself…I want to LIKE me too.

I’m not the only one that thinks this way right? Nope…no…no…it doesn’t matter…forget I asked.

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